This is the second in a series of articles from Awl Sports Blogger about sport, following on from There WAS an Aussie World Champ in Abu Dhabi in 2010.

Look everyone knew some pain was coming when names like Warne, McGrath, Gilchrist and Langer started leaving the Australian team sheet, but this current Aussie team has the country in bloody agony.

Losing the Ashes to the Poms on our home turf hurts … Getting bowled out for less than 100 runs on Boxing Day is a national disaster.

The Melbourne test, the whole series was over right then. Gift wrapped with a bow on it the day after Christmas. I mean did anyone seriously believe Australia could knock over England cheaply enough to even save a draw?

Lets not kid ourselves, these days we can only bowl England out at all in the right conditions—see the first innings at the Gabba and our brief hurrah at the fast bowler friendly WACA pitch. In between which we’d claimed six wickets for about a 1000 runs.

The Ashes now lost, fierce debate rages about the team selections for the Sydney Test, not least of all the role of captain Ricky Ponting. Give all praise to the national selectors for getting us to this point with their established revolving door policy and tactical acumen, four fast bowlers for Melbourne anyone?

Now with our established players Ricky Ponting, Mike Hussey, Michael Clarke and Mitchell Johnson completely out of sorts and a legion of emerging players like Phil Hughes, Steve Smith, Nathan Haurtiz and Xavier Doherty being deemed ready and able, then just as quickly deemed unready and unable, the media and the fans are getting very impatient so clearly something needs to give.

I say let there be open tryouts for the Australian cricket team at the SCG on Jan 2 the day before the Sydney Test.

Now before you criticise, it’s been done before …

In 1976, Dick Vermeil, the newly appointed head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles went on TV and announced he would hold open tryouts to the public to join the struggling NFL franchise. Around 800 people showed up, and famously the Eagles ended up signing 30-year-old Vince Papale to a professional contract and he went on to play for Philly in the NFL for the next three years until injury forced his retirement.

Now the fact that most of my ideas come from watching Mark Wahlberg films has some interesting knock-on effects for my personal life, but let’s stick to the topic at hand …

Imagine the turnout if it was splashed across TV and cyberspace that you could rock on down to the SCG and have a crack at making the Aussie team!

I’m thinking overweight bricklayers taking guard in their stubbies, singlets and thongs … Kids in Richie Benaud masks … I say anyone who can grow a Jason Gillespie mullet is in with a half a shout!

Apparently every media talking head and armchair pundit in the country knows how to captain the side better than Ricky; so expect a mighty tussle for the captaincy role.

I mean don’t think of this as gambit, some kind of a laugh or PR gimmick. So desperate are the national selectors to find the next Shane Warne, your best tactic might be go to Advanced Hair Studios for some regrowth then pop down to the ground and simply spend the entire time chatting up chicks, texting, tweeting and discreetly watching videos on your mobile.

Of course you could get a game if you showed up in a monkey costume or a rubber chicken suit, just as long as you can bowl like this …

How we miss the good ol days …

This series follows on with Asian Cup Redux.